"Okay, so she doesn't ACTUALLY care for tiny plants.
She receives succulents and cacti as gifts and then leaves them to rot on a windowsill never to be seen nor watered again.
When she says “passionately” DIYs, she means she’s made a couple wall hangings out of yarn, the first of two christmas stockings that were left unfinished, and a leather wallet that she claims she “screwed up” after attempting to add a button. She passionately dreams of all the things she wants to DIY, and then chooses one material and goes apeshit with it. First yarn, then embroidery thread. Really I think she just likes to sew shit.
When she says “exploring Toronto”, she means from the comfort of an UBER or behind a cubicle on Ryerson campus because the thought of sitting still in a restaurant is the most terrifying thing ever. Her explorations mostly refer to ice cream shops and walls that have graffiti on them, in front of which she will take no less than 37 selfies before editing the fuck out of them and maybe, if you’re lucky, she will post one. One out of 37 ain’t bad.
She forgot to mention her dog. Don’t know how that’s possible seeing as he is her first love. He’s gorgeous and happy and the most docile animal ever. He balances her out. His smile is so wonderful and full of life that it almost makes you forget that his farts smell like broccoli. Almost.
She calls herself gluten free but I just watched her polish off 33% of a full sourdough loaf. So she’s basically full of shit. And gluten.
Never before have I met a person who uses the word “dope” as much as she does, nor someone as beautiful, creative, imaginative, interesting, and talented. That’s what she’s really about."
- My girlfriend